HAHA! if any of you have seen that Martin Short/Kurt Russell movie 'Captain Ron', then you know what I am talking about. On Saturday we drove up to our local lake and participated in a sailing lesson. Boo didn't need it, but it gave him so water time and I've not been on a boat since Antigua. So, I thought it would be a good opportunity to brush up on some skills. We signed in and filled out a survey, which the purpose of the survey was to pair you with the right boat and captain to make your lesson an enjoyable one. Boo and I were split up, he went to his assigned boat, and I went to mine. At the docks I met my crew mates (3 of us newbies) and got to see our boat, a J-80. Our Captains were pretty interesting. I couldn't help but feel a bit hesitant about one of them.
There he was, Captain Ron, barefooted, dressed in a flowered Hawaiian shirt, ball cap advertising some of type rum , cigarette hanging out of the corner of his mouth, and juggling a cup of Starbucks while he hoisted up the sails. The other Captain looked safe enough, so I weighed my odds and decided to take the risk. "Permission to come aboard Captain!" was what I blurted out. (Cheesy, I know, but I've always wanted to say tha
t.) They smiled and welcomed us on. I noticed were the last boat to leave the dock, but that's OK. I'm out here for fun not a race. The Captain introduced us to Dan (Captain Ron) and tells us how very lucky we were, b/c the weather and wind are absolutely perfect for sailing. Whoo hoo!
t.) They smiled and welcomed us on. I noticed were the last boat to leave the dock, but that's OK. I'm out here for fun not a race. The Captain introduced us to Dan (Captain Ron) and tells us how very lucky we were, b/c the weather and wind are absolutely perfect for sailing. Whoo hoo!We drifted out of the cove, into the lake, and in an instant I felt the wind pick up the sails and I felt the boat begin to pitch on its side. We were sailing! Captain Ron had asked me to hold is Starbucks while he tacked the sail. I noticed the cup was ice cold and felt the ice cubes chinkling around. I slyly looked over at him, swirled the cup around and asked, "what's really in this Starbucks cup." He laughed and winked. We continued to sail along with the Captain teaching us the proper names for the parts of the boat. Five minutes later, the boat picked up speed and all of the sudden, the entire crew was on one side, the boat was pitched up and I could see the other side of the boat skimming along the water. I nervously laughed, looked over at Captain Ron and said "this is more fun then I thought it would be, but if it gets any crazier, I may need a sip of your Starbucks." That was all he needed to open up. He bellowed out a laugh and said I was fearless and deserved a beer for that. He slapped an icy Miller light can in my hand and showed me his rotten smile. 
I couldn't help but laugh. I glanced over to the "real" Captain to make sure it was alright, after all, we were here for a lesson. He just grinned, so I popped open my can and took a long swig, and secretly hoping it would calm my nerves a bit b/c the wind was picking up pretty fast. We sailed, tacked, and Jibe-ho'ed for a while, when Captain Ron goes below to get more "coffee." I noticed his little flask and asked him about it. He said it was passed down to him, then he got a forlorned look on his face. To change the subject and lighten up the mood, I asked what type of "Starbucks" did he have in it. He flashed that half rotted smile and said it was a special rum from Key West and then asked if I would like to try it. By then, the first beer was already swimming around my head and I didn't want to be rude, so I said, "SURE!" I took a small sip and my entire throat caught on fire. I kicked a leg and arm out and croaked out a "whoa!". Captain Ron belly laughed and told our Captain that I was fearless and welcomed to crew on their boat anytime. Then he shoved a second Miller light in my hand and taught me a couple of sailor toasts. (OK...
so I can't remember all of them b/c I didn't write them down, and my mind was a bit foggy by this point, but I did remember this one "Here's to the Seamen, their boats, and their women, I hope they never meet.") Everyone laughed, so he took this as a cue to teach us some salty sailor songs. He sang "what do you do with a drunken sailor, what do you do with a drunken sailor, what would you do with a drunken sailor, earlaaaaaaaay in the morning." and told us we had to sing it just like he did, but change the verse up. So when it came to my turn, I sang," what would you do with a cheatin' husband, .... throw him in the duuuuungeon" (in no way is this related to my Boo, I just needed something salty to throw out.) After a while, the Captain asked us if we wanted to fly the spinnaker. We were so pumped up from singing (and probably the beer) that we yelled YEAAAH! I got to unfurl and spinnaker, slowly working the wench to let it out, watching it luft and fill with air. It was awesome, but I'm pretty sure we went slower than before. Anyways, after flying it for a while the Captain told us to pull it in. I got to pull it in, and what a BIG difference. I had to pull in the line as fast as I could so we wouldn't, as Captain Ron would say, go shrimping. (Letting the sail fall into the water and acting as a net.) Then we headed back to the marina, and of course, we are the last boat to dock. hahhaa!
All in all, I had a great boat and I learned alot from my Captain. Like how to trim the sails, what starboard tack and Jibe-ho meant (avoid the boom!), I got to unfurl
the spinnaker, and I got in a great sail. After we docked, I found Boo and ask how his lesson went. He said he got to man the helm (steer the boat) pretty much the entire time and pick the Captains brain. He worked so hard on all the wenches, lines, sheets, etc....that he had blisters on his hands! I was sooooo glad I didn't get assigned that boat. It would of been like listening to Charlie Browns teacher, "wa wah wah, wa wah...." UGGG! So serious. Sailing is suppose to be fun! I suppose I'm more of a cruiser and Boo is more of a racer when it comes to sailing. Thank goodness that survey was right on. We both got paired up with the right type of Captains for our sailing styles and we both had a great time. Afterwards, we hustled back to the car and went in search of a tasty burger :) Til next time, GET OUTDOORS!
I couldn't help but laugh. I glanced over to the "real" Captain to make sure it was alright, after all, we were here for a lesson. He just grinned, so I popped open my can and took a long swig, and secretly hoping it would calm my nerves a bit b/c the wind was picking up pretty fast. We sailed, tacked, and Jibe-ho'ed for a while, when Captain Ron goes below to get more "coffee." I noticed his little flask and asked him about it. He said it was passed down to him, then he got a forlorned look on his face. To change the subject and lighten up the mood, I asked what type of "Starbucks" did he have in it. He flashed that half rotted smile and said it was a special rum from Key West and then asked if I would like to try it. By then, the first beer was already swimming around my head and I didn't want to be rude, so I said, "SURE!" I took a small sip and my entire throat caught on fire. I kicked a leg and arm out and croaked out a "whoa!". Captain Ron belly laughed and told our Captain that I was fearless and welcomed to crew on their boat anytime. Then he shoved a second Miller light in my hand and taught me a couple of sailor toasts. (OK...
so I can't remember all of them b/c I didn't write them down, and my mind was a bit foggy by this point, but I did remember this one "Here's to the Seamen, their boats, and their women, I hope they never meet.") Everyone laughed, so he took this as a cue to teach us some salty sailor songs. He sang "what do you do with a drunken sailor, what do you do with a drunken sailor, what would you do with a drunken sailor, earlaaaaaaaay in the morning." and told us we had to sing it just like he did, but change the verse up. So when it came to my turn, I sang," what would you do with a cheatin' husband, .... throw him in the duuuuungeon" (in no way is this related to my Boo, I just needed something salty to throw out.) After a while, the Captain asked us if we wanted to fly the spinnaker. We were so pumped up from singing (and probably the beer) that we yelled YEAAAH! I got to unfurl and spinnaker, slowly working the wench to let it out, watching it luft and fill with air. It was awesome, but I'm pretty sure we went slower than before. Anyways, after flying it for a while the Captain told us to pull it in. I got to pull it in, and what a BIG difference. I had to pull in the line as fast as I could so we wouldn't, as Captain Ron would say, go shrimping. (Letting the sail fall into the water and acting as a net.) Then we headed back to the marina, and of course, we are the last boat to dock. hahhaa!All in all, I had a great boat and I learned alot from my Captain. Like how to trim the sails, what starboard tack and Jibe-ho meant (avoid the boom!), I got to unfurl
the spinnaker, and I got in a great sail. After we docked, I found Boo and ask how his lesson went. He said he got to man the helm (steer the boat) pretty much the entire time and pick the Captains brain. He worked so hard on all the wenches, lines, sheets, etc....that he had blisters on his hands! I was sooooo glad I didn't get assigned that boat. It would of been like listening to Charlie Browns teacher, "wa wah wah, wa wah...." UGGG! So serious. Sailing is suppose to be fun! I suppose I'm more of a cruiser and Boo is more of a racer when it comes to sailing. Thank goodness that survey was right on. We both got paired up with the right type of Captains for our sailing styles and we both had a great time. Afterwards, we hustled back to the car and went in search of a tasty burger :) Til next time, GET OUTDOORS!
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